|Apparently Something Extreme Has to Happen For Me to Post
||[Mar. 30th, 2009|11:38 am]
This weekend was weird and it's making me want to puke, so I think I should get it all out here.|
Let me quickly sum up the past two years of my life here: Marty. Since the beginning of junior year, we've been best friends and have spent almost every night together. Neither of us drink (well, I do a little, on very special occasions, but I certainly don't get drunk anymore) and neither of us like to go out, so we hang out every night in one of our rooms until disgusting hours of the morning talking, watching DVD's and sometimes going to diners. This has been, and continues to be, loads of fun, and I am very happy with it. There's your back story; in short, I don't really live.
Saturday was Absolut's invitational concert and one of the groups that was performing arrived early, so we hung out with them. I started talking to one of the guys and we totally hit off and kept talking for the rest of the day. After the show, (which was incredible, by the way, and I am so proud of everyone) I mentioned to a few of the guys, including him, that I would not be going to the after party (Marty and I had plans) and he got really sad, so I said maybe which he told me better turn to a yes. Alright, so at this point I obviously decide to go. I walk back to Lefevre and apologize to Marty, (who's on duty and can't leave) but explain why and of course he understands. I get ready, and on my way out to meet the Bouton people, I run into some members of the other group who are staying in Lefevre. I ask if any of them are ready and want to head over with me, and only he volunteers (the rest wanted to change.) So we walk over together and we really are hitting it off. He's totally awkwardorable which is my favorite quality in a guy. He tells me about how he never gets girls because he's so shy and awkward. We meet everyone at Bouton and head over the Orphanage.The party is great, most of my favorite people are there and it's not too crowded at all. I'm flitting about, but I always come back to guy, and certainly being a little touchy-flirty.. Neither of us are drinking, which is totally awesome (well, I had two beers way early on to calm my party anxieties - I don't like loud, crowded rooms.) Finally, the Lefevre bunch decides to leave, we go outside and when no one is looking, I kiss him. He's so shocked that he asks me if I'm sure I'm not drunk. We kiss a bit more and walk back holding hands. When we get there, I invite him to come to my room for a while. He does, and we continue to make out. What was odd/scary about it was that it wasn't at all "random hook up" making out. It was actually, "I kind of like you" making out. Eventually the girl who was housing him texts me and asks if I'm keeping him for the night. I say no, and send him back, despite his plea of, "I kind of don't want to leave." Like I said, the "I kind of like you" part freaked me out so I did not want him sleeping there (or, as Marty would say, I build walls so i don't have to let anyone in.) I bring him to his room and come back to a bunch of IMs from Marty (who had been texting me all night asking for updates) asking if I was back yet and what happened. I go down to his room and we talk about everything, which is more Marty yelling at me for not letting the guy spend the night/ telling me how proud he is of me for actually doing something. Somewhere along the way, the guy (who had slyly gotten my number at the party by playing with me phone) saying, and I quote, "That was fun. :-)" We text back and forth for a bit and eventually I invite him back to my room again. I leave Marty and meet the guy. We actually talk for about an hour and find we have many common interests. He quotes almost every movie/pop culture reference that I love and is overall, a big nerd, and I love it. We eventually start making out again which is, to quote "Falsettos," "hot, but also completely innocent," which is my favorite thing in the world. He said he would have to leave at 7AM, so when it gets there, I remind him. He insists he can stay a bit longer, they're not leaving until 8, but at 7:30, he leaves. I go back to bed, still in disbeleif that the past few hours had actually occurred.
Later that day, I look up all of the group members on Facebook and add them, as is typical after an invitational. He's one of the first to add me back, so I go to his page and what do I find? He has a girlfriend. Now, were I to have typed that with all the rage and emotion I felt upon learning that fact, it would be in all caps, bold and the biggest font I could find, but I didn't you to see it before you read the rest - you needed to be shocked, too. This makes me want to throw up. I mean, I know I had ABSOLUTELY no idea, so it's not my fault, but I still feel dirty. I also feel shitty because this guy played me, putting on the whole, innocent, "girls never really like me" act. What the eff? Not to mention, we clearly hit it off and he clearly seemed to like me, everyone there picked up on it. I want the know what the eff is going . Some people think I should leave a "Thanks for the other night, ;-)" message on his wall, in hopes the girlfriend will see it but the fact is, I don't know this girl, she's done nothing, I wouldn't want to hurt her like that. He should be the one to tell her, if he even has to decency to do so. Some people think I should message him and say, "Hey, um, so....I didn't know you had a girlfriend...." and see how he reacts. I don't know what I should do. I think I'm going to wait a day or two and see if he contacts me and go from there. I mean, let's be honest here, if I never want to see the guy again, I never will. I can't really decide if it's even worth it because, like I said, I may never see him, but at same time, (as my friends are all saying) we really did hit it off, and who knows where this could lead? Maybe he and his girlfriend are on the way out and he really truly did like me. Should I really scorn that for something as lame as logical sense?
What do you think?